Mid-year Review

Gosh! I can’t believe that half a year has gone by since my last blog entry. To many of us, life-defining moments can happen within a short span of six months. Few of my friends “popped”, one of my colleagues lost his adorable 4-month old baby due to mysterious viral infection, my sister lost her 9-week old fetus (we call him/her “Sunshine”), YL’s colleague was drowned in NUS swimming pool. I wonder why the theme of birth/death kept re-emerging this year. Is there some message behind this series of events? There are profound lessons to be learnt from all these synchronities. Perhaps, it is time to complete that “circle of life” myself. Although I have kid-phobia, I am starting to understand why my friends who are mothers tend to talk incessantly about their kids. It must really be rewarding to them to witness the growth and metaphormosis of their precious little ones.

So, what have I done during these six months? I think the most rewarding part is I managed to pull through and completed two of my EdD assignments despite the hectic schedule at my working place. This is just the start of my long, arduous and perhaps lonely route as a part-time doctoral student. My classmates were saying a high proportion of PhD students sank into depression in their quest for intellectual pursuit. I hope I can persevere and see it to the end, four to five years down the road without losing my sanity!

As part of the “over-the-hill” community, the tough decision of how to prioritize my time is pressing on me. I wanted a career and title, but I am also hitting the big 35 mark! Can I have the best of three worlds? I will most likely need to disrupt some segments of my life if I am serious about family planning. Working woman really needs support and financial resources to fulfill her own aspirations and also obligatory family commitments. A conservative calculation of the amount I need to spend on my studies will come close to $35K and if I change to part-time work to start my family and complete my studies, the opportunity cost is an astronomical figure! Can woman not give up anything to raise kids? I will wallow in self-pity if I need to give up anything. This is the internal struggle I am going through for many years. Wonder how many super moms are there out there? I am not talking about those role models that are showcased on TVs and newspaper. Those people have high-flying career and tremendous financial support. I am talking about common middle income folks like us who have limited resources but have our own personal aspirations besides raising great kids. I hope someone can show me how to do that, give me some signs of hope and encouragement before I take the plunge to really start a family. I don’t think I can be a competent full time housewife or a career woman while working on my studies and taking care of kids too! Aiyoh, think this blog entry has somehow turned into a ranting and venting session, not too healthy, hehe.

A Toast to 2007!

It's the start of a brand new year again. Have you heard of the saying "Time flies once you are over 30 years old"? It seems freakishingly true. Perhaps as part of the over-the-hill community with lotsa of commitments that are perpetually clamouring for your time and attention, you feel that 24 hours is definitely too short! This is a more scientific and logical explanation to why time sped past for people beyond 30s. Hmm...on the other hand, if I am now in my retirement age, I could have felt otherwise. Hopefully, the pace has slowed down for me to smell the flowers by then.

So, the favourite question pops up. What's my new year resolutions for year 2007? Well, I couldn't wish for more than 24 hours a day, literally. Notwithstanding that, I read an article in Men's Health about 'polyphasic sleep'. It raves about the benefits of sleeping only a total of 2 hours a day. The 2 hour-sleep is spread out in duration of 20 minutes in 6 time slots (Say, 12am, 4am, 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm). The aritcle also reminds us that this is the preferred sleep mode of Einstein and DaVinci.

Ok, for the sake of convenience, I assume that on average, we sleep 8 hours a day. By cutting our sleep time to 2 hours, we will have extra 6 hours of waking time to learn or do whatever we fancy. Sounds fun? isn't it? For those who wanna moonlight, they will be rewarded with a fat account. For those who wanna blog or play internet games, they have more time at their disposal. For those engaged in intensive research, they have many more hours of precious research time. Reason for celebration! Until reality strikes. Errr...how many of us really have the discipline to pursue what we want when we have more time? And how many employers are liberal enough to allow you to take a nap of 20min during working hours? Although it really sounds inviting, this sleep pattern is more disruptive than integrative to our lifestyle. So, there goes my dream of having more time a day.

Perhaps I should wish for saving up enough money to go for Botox injections. But I heard that one will look more terrible than before-Botox phase once you stopped the treatment. I am not rich enough to sponsor myself with life-long supply of Botox injections, so I better wake up and drop the idea. It seems that I am left only with alternative therapy to enhance my looks. Ok, so to look really good, some beauty gurus advocate that one should incorporate holistic well-being regimes. That means regular Yoga and meditation classes. It works on your internal state of well-being and hopefully the balanced state of happiness will radiate from within. That's not new, I have been wanting to do that for the past 5 years...and it never happen, hehe. Maybe I should just rely on the doses of TLC from my loved ones to make me a happier person? LOL. How shallow! Giving TLC to other people is just as fulfilling. I should really consider resuming volunteering but I shouldn't make empty promises again.

So what? No resolutions? My colleague boasted to me about his relatively fat savings account that day. Maybe this is something more attainable. I should make sure I can save more this year. Make sure gone were the days that I am just breaking even every month or worse, seeing red, esp last year when I had many big-ticket expenses. I will keep my fingers crossed and hopefully by next year, I have something favourable regarding this department to report on!

Shanghai Tales Part 3

This should be my last installment on Shanghai tales. Wanted to post this earlier but the slowdown in internet access speed that affected Asia last week gave me a perfect excuse to procrastinate, hehe. Going to talk about some light-hearted matters: Food and entertainment.

Throughout my 4-day stay in Shanghai, I had breakfast at this restaurant called “东方既白”. I later found out that this restaurant chain is a subsidiary of KFC. They localise the menu by infusing Chinese food culture. I thought it was a success. The price is economical, the ambience is good and the service is EXCELLENT！Very rare in fast-paced Shanghai. I guess the staff members have undergone rigorious training. This is the only place where I can stand and look at the menu for as long as I can without being stared at. They even offered to help. When unreasonable customers kicked up a fuss about the speed of delivery, those youngsters greeted the complaints with mega-watt smiles and apologies. Impressive.

I am trying to make some inferences here, at the risk of generalisation. If this is a wing under KFC, I guess the restaurant must have imparted their western style of management to the locals, that probably explains the stark contrast in service quality. Globalisation has its fair share of merits and blasphemy (depending on which part of Earth you are residing) but in Shanghai, I am really grateful that I can find McDonalds, KFC, Starbucks, Ajisen etc. Ok, I know globalisation results in some form of homogeneity but when you are a desperate traveller who is dead tired, quite broke and wanna enjoy decent service without paying rocket-high price, these are the places you can head to.

Here is a picture I took at “东方既白”. The dough and drink cost less than 10RMB. Unbeatable price. The Chinese dipped their dough in soy sauce, very different from us. We usually eat them plain. It's quite a refreshing change.

I also patronised this restaurant “鸭王”,which is popular amongst locals, tourists and even HK superstars alike. Thumbs-up for their roasted suck. I am never a "duck person" but this delicacy is so nicely done that I finished most of the serving. A value-for-money gastronomical treat. Took a snapshot of how the chef prepared the dish. Look at the dexterity of his fingers! Saw the thin layer of flour dough skin (placed in the container on the left)? You can choose to put the meat on the dough, topped it up with sweet sauce and chive-like vegetable, wrapped it up and you are done with your roast-duck popiah!

So much about food. Now this is on entertainment. This poster is dedicated to all fans of the duet vocal group, ukulele. I am overjoyed to hear that they have united again. They sing well but going solo doesn't bring out the best in them. The union is, without a doubt, good news! I fell in love with them since my JC days. Appreciate them even more now especially when you look at the present Taiwan entertainment scene which is bombarded by an influx of boy bands that can hardly sing (except May Day). Ukulele's songs usually have a depth that makes them evergreen and profound. Looking forward to their new release!

Shanghai Tales Part 2

I am late. Monitor just went dead few days ago after a hilarious videocam chat session with a friend who is now station in Dubai. Guess the monitor recovered from the shock of deafening roars from 5 of us.

I shall continue my horror stories of Shanghai. I was glad that I can come back come in one piece, really! The traffic at the city is horrendous! The city dwellers have no respect for green light. Managed to take one snapshot as evidence:

Did you see that the bus is dashing across the pedestrian crossing despite the fact that it is green light? It happens everywhere. In Shanghai, you are bombarded with incessant honking to the point that you are de-sensitized by them. There's one incident that sent chill down my spine. A motorbike was honking right beside me but I was oblivious to its presence as I was concentrating and trying to walk gingerly across to the other side of the road. My hubby alerted me, so I tried to distance myself away from the oncoming vehicle but it moved right into my path until it was physically just a hair's breadth away from me. Mortified, it took me a few seconds to align my path out of the motorist's way. Okie, I was not civilized enough not to curse right on the busy Shanghai street. Err, but that's beside the point. I thought I was going to be hit at that moment. Or maybe the talisman from the Temple I mentioned in Part 1 of horror story really works. Ha, I must try to comfort myself right?

I guess the situation must have degenerated to the point that the city has to engage many traffic controllers to manage the traffic flow at major streets. Here's something they are campaigning and I thought it's interesting:

It says that everyone can slow down their pace for one another when the pace of civilisation picks up. A gracious smile will go a long way to make the journey safe and enjoyable. I guess the efficacy of the campaign can only be realised when they have a critical mass internalising the philosophy.

I was also a little surprise to see people touting, pimping and also begging in the bustling city. Those who beg for money are very young girls, most probably under the age of 20. They could walk alongside with you for 15 min, lamenting on how miserable they were and wanted you to buy them bread, if not, give them money. Some even suggested that we brought them into the restaurant we were about to step in, or give them RMB $1 (as a last resort). When I refused, they scolded me loud, "Petty!" Sigh! Yes, RMB$1 is just a few cents, but it's a matter of principle. If more people give in to their demands, they will continue this demeaning trade, trading off their dignity for easy money.

That sums up my unhappy moments during my stay in Shanghai. See below for my "Before (being conned at temple)" and "After" mood:

Ha, from high spirits to melancholic. I am sure you got the idea.

Shanghai Tales Part 1

Horrified, petrified, mortified.

Yes, this is how I feel during the short 4-day trip at Shanghai. The revisit to the cosmopolitan city after a one decade gap left me with a bad after-taste, probably an indelible one.

My last visit in 1995 was a touch-and-go experience. I was a young graduate then travelling with my group of close friends and stopped by Shanghai for one day before continuing the rest of the journey in the JiangNan part of China. I can vividly remember how dazed I felt after walking out of the train station. The crowd in the city was just too overwhelming. So that's a bit of history about my first acquaintance with Shanghai. Well, people have been telling me that the city has changed quite a bit and I thought I should give her another chance. That's why I decided to join Yilin after his seminar at Shanghai ended. That's a mistake on hindsight.

My horror story starts on the first day of travelling to the so-called renowned water town of China, Zhou Zhuang. I did enjoy the picturesque scenery at the start of the tour but the serenity ended swiftly when the mercenary temple shrine cons swindled a significant portion of our $$$. How could someone as "intelligent" as me (haha, did you detect that bruised ego?) ended up in such a state? Perhaps we are being hypnotized, perhaps we are too trusting, perhaps we really are far from being street smart.

The temple guide emphasized that we need not make any monetary donations at all, that let down part of my defenses. She also explained all Buddhist-related stuff in an orthodox manner, that drowns any cynical views about their intentions. All seemed well until we came to the last stop. The "well-intentioned" and benevolent temple assistants urge us to leave our name and address on their record book so that the abbot can recite sutras for us everyday. Next, she asked us to pick a few fish and tortoise (craps) from tanks and released them into the lake infront of the temple, a symbolic gesture of respecting life. I thought that was just symbolic, until I was told each fish cost RMB60 and each tortoise cost RMB90 and I should choose at least 6, if not 9 fish as they are auspicious numbers in Chinese context. I told them I don't have enough RMB and they had the cheek to ask me to pay in Singapore dollars! It then dawns on me that the whole thing is an unscrupulous way of sucking money from tourists! I was clenching my fists and ticking them off by saying this was not a very right thing to do. However, to get out of this situation, I compromised and minimized my loss by buying just one of each. I tried to stop my hubby and mother-in-law from becoming second victim but I was too late. My mother-in-law had selected a pool of picks. My hubby also tried to get out of the situation by declaring that we did not have enough Chinese currency but my devoted mother-in-law topped up the shortfall.

By that time, I am already giving all the temple assistants dagger-throwing kind of look. They escorted us out of the temple before all hell break loose. All in all, we spent 800RMB in that temple alone. We are left with about 300RMB to spend for the rest of the trip and need to ration our money and food frugally. But that's not the end of my horror tales from Shanghai. Shall continue with part 2 tomorrow.

Embrace Life

This week has been a light-hearted week for me albeit my crazy work schedule. In fact, I felt a sense of renewal after the sad event dislodged me out of complacency and dived me into a brief period of gloom.

So what triggers this new sense of buoyancy? A series of events made me realise that the energy of universe works in amazing ways and we have the innate ability or gift to heal ourselves. We are indeed stronger than what we have imagined ourselves to be and "collective healing" can indeed be a very powerful tool. This sudden epiphany offers hopes and strength for us to face the tribulations in life.

So here are the few events...The blogsite that was set up in memory of WK is still going strong and his buddies recalled all the wonderful and sometimes hilarious moments they have shared with him. Somehow, the feeling of loss is compensated by a genuine desire to be reconnected again amongst the closely knitted friends. Moreover, many little sprouts will arrive in the next few months. That was the circle of life, as someone aptly puts it.

And for me, my buddies are coming back to Singapore, some for good, some to stop over before they continue their pursuits overseas. This upcoming reunion lifted my spirits. It has been a long time since we all last had a face-to-face chat. Missed those days where we could talk right into the wee hours. We still do that occasionally but it's over msn or yahoo messenger. I advocate that nothing is a perfect substitute for face-to-face interaction! I am really looking forward to have a great time with them. Counting down now.....

A Fleeting Life is No Less Beautiful

This is my virgin blog post, after procrastinating for more than half a year. The blog finally happens because I am jolted out of the doldrums by the sudden demise of my husband's dear friend, WK, who died in his sleep. The news was covered extensively by the media and had become a much discussed topic. Whilst his death was poignant, we sought solace in the fact that he had touched the lives of many people during his short 32 years of existence, on this plane.

Wk was, as portrayed by the media, a caring doctor to his patients, a devoted husband to his wife and a loyal friend to his buddies, even my parents are impressed with him! He chauffeured my parents on my wedding day and pacified my dad who was complaining about the chaotic gatecrashing moments. I suppose that's him, a down-to-earth chap who wins people with his sincerity. Sounds a bit cliche, but we know he will continue to live in the hearts of many people and be a source of inspiration for all of us who are learning to love not only ourselves, but also those that we come into contact with. His close buddies started a blog, in memory of the beloved friend. Friends who have drifted apart got reconnected again and they recounted the good old times they had during their JC days and shared what's going on in their lives now. That's very positive.

So after that heart-wrenching week, I did some soul searching. There are too many things that I have put aside and too many people I have neglected. My mom said I sent out a few hundred SMS a month but none was for her. My hubby said I MSN and OT too much. Friends said it's difficult to fix gathering dates with me. The volunteer group that I used to work with was saying I had MIA for almost one year. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I must really start somewhere and make it a point to spend more time with my dear ones and resume my volunteer work soon. To touch people's life...hmmm..that will be my mantra, hopefully for the rest of my life journey here.